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Coaching is Asking the Right Questions

Have you ever known anyone who asked themselves "Why me?" over and over every time something happened they didn't like? Or how about, "What did I do to deserve this?" And my favorite, "Whose fault was that?" Perhaps, these questions have popped into your head once or twice before.

When we ask ourselves questions, our brain hunts for the answer. Having your brain search for the answers to bad questions gives you bad answers. You'll get answers like "I'm just unlucky", or "It's unfair" or "It's my boss's fault".

These kinds of questions keep us in the past and keep the focus on things we can't change. So how do we move forward? What if you asked questions like;

What can I learn from this?

Most difficulties provide something we can learn about ourselves, about life, and about what to do next time. Would you prefer to blame yourself or others, or look for the insight?

In what way is the current situation absolutely perfect?

Even if you think it is a total mess, see if you can find something that is already good or something to be grateful for. Gratitudes are a powerful tool you can use to turn many uncomfortable situations around.

How could I turn this around immediately, and enjoy the process?

This is where you can set an intention and ask yourself what you are committed to. What do you want to do about this problem or situation? And how can you make it fun?

What is the value of my current attitude?

Is your attitude making things easier or harder for you? Are you looking for the opportunity or complaining? How has that attitude been working for you?

What a difference the right questions make! This week listen to the questions you are asking yourself. Are they moving you forward or keeping you stuck? Replace your unproductive questions with the ones that support you. And if you need further help, call a coach!

Deb Melton, Certified Fearless Living Coach and Singles Coach, author, speaker and teleclass leader based in Denver, CO. To learn more about Deb's programs and classes or to sign up for her FREE weekly column delivered to your email box visit

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