Grief & Loss Information

Grief & Loss Information

Men and Grief


Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it.

Understanding Grief and Loss in Times of War and Disaster


There are many different kinds of losses we can experience in our lives. Indeed, loss in human beings has its beginnings in the birth process that separates the infant from the comfort and security of the mother's womb into a world where survival is conditional and predicated on individual responsibility.

Sympathy Flowers


Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to a family who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and offer much comfort to the family.

Cultivate a Friendship with Death


Why We Fear Death"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark." - BaconThere may be a thousand reasons why we fear death, but most of all we fear death because we fear the unknown, and death is an unknown entity to most people.

Terminal Illness- Death and Grief


No one likes to think about illness and death, when we are well, we feel invincible and there is nothing that can prepare us for the shock and devastation of a terminal diagnosis. The knowledge that we can no longer take our lives or the lives we share with our loved ones for granted takes away our ability to plan for the future and removes hope from our lives.

One Womans Way of Dealing With Grief


All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes about the task of grieving in our own distinct way.

How To Write A Eulogy


Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given the opportunity to celebrate a loved one's life in the individual way that made your friend unique.

Moving Beyond Grief and Loss


In my work as a coach and therapist, I have seen many clients dealing with losses of all kinds-loss of loved ones through death and divorce, for instance. These experiences are difficult for everyone.

How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief


Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them.

How to Turn Grief into Joy


I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body.

Dealing With Grief and Loss - How to Mend a Broken Heart


What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts.

And You Always Will


I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.The brand new towels still weren't there, of course.

Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief


When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house, she accepted the invitation cheerfully. Martha was new to the area and so I thought this small potluck I was hosting would be a chance for her to get to know other women in our town.

A Critical Assessment of Euthanasia


The question of whether, say, a man should have the right to take away his life granted pain and suffering have overcome him is a very important question today. A different way of putting this question is this: 'Should a man have the right to take away his life if he ceases to function as a human being?' This matter would have been laid to rest had it not been that it strikes at the heart of law, key matters of health, and morality.

Suicide - An Eternal Pain


Suicide is the one form of death that has quite a stigma attached to it. It brings with it a feeling of shame and betrayal.

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01/15/2018 03:54 PM
The 3-Minute Test You Spend Your Whole Life Preparing For
NEVER do we go through our formative years thinking any of it's a preparation, but there does come a time when it's all tested. One of those pivotal tests for me was between 2300hrs and 2303hrs on October 30, 2014 - meeting my stillborn son.
01/12/2018 03:48 PM
Loss Is Love in All Its Fullness
GRIEF at a loved one's passing or the loss of anything significant is the full payment for the love we had for that person or the hopes we had for that dream. That might feel like a slap across the face, but when loss comes it throws us so far we realise just how much we must have loved, because what we cannot stop loving or needing is irretrievably gone.
01/11/2018 04:17 PM
How Long Does Grief Last For?
THIS quote on grief I'll never forget: "I believe it takes a full three years to get through loss." (Pastor Craig Vernall, April 2017) The quote astounded me because it seemingly broke with traditional grief wisdom that pegs it as a two-to-twelve-month acute phase process, and something we never truly overcome, but learn to accept.
01/10/2018 03:32 PM
Faith in Grief, at Best Victorious, at Worst an Aspiration
THROUGH it all, through it all, my eyes are on you (Jesus), and it is well. The adapted strains of Horatio Spafford's classic hymn communicate, as he did, the scandalous reality of an overcoming hope in the deepest grief, a psychological phenomenon setting faith apart as priceless in our darkest hour.
01/08/2018 08:19 AM
When Will This Desert Drudgery End? Will I Ever Reach the Promised Land?
EVER had a conversation with a person trying to encourage you and left more discouraged than ever? I've been on both sides of that kind of interaction.
01/05/2018 04:10 PM
Just Swimming Around
I grew up in a fairy-tale world and life was good. It wasn't until the death of my son by suicide challenged me more than I ever believed possible. I was forced to face the realities of a changed world and my illusion was shattered. Finding the strength after significant loss required changing my philosophy, exploring options, and raw determination before the sun could shine again.
01/05/2018 04:08 PM
Has God Got a Purpose for Me In My Grief?
ACCEPTING that everyone grieves differently, we can still agree that the pain is the same awful reality for everyone. Why does grief hurt so much?
01/04/2018 04:20 PM
Lament Fit for a King, David's Way to Strength in Weakness
It is necessary to give over (admit and accept) our human weakness to gain divine strength. Put another way, the presence of human weakness is essential to receive the divine strength of God's Presence.
01/03/2018 02:41 PM
No, This Is Not Happening To Me
This is a story about my much anticipated birthday trip. Unfortunately. it did not happen as planned. However, I was able to learn a valuable lesson.
01/02/2018 08:27 AM
Dispelling The Myth That It Just Takes Time
When my best friend, my hero, my Dad died, I thought that I was going to die too. In a way, I did die. My broken heart and my longing to see and talk to him was more than I could bear.
12/27/2017 03:44 PM
You Grieve How You Grieve
WHEN we lost Nathanael I'm sure there were some, perhaps many, who doubted the grief journey we were on. Maybe we grieved too well for some people. All I know is that our grief journey was normal and appropriate and only what it could be for us.
12/23/2017 10:32 AM
My Worst Christmas Ever and How God Redeemed It
2004 was a weirdly hope-filled, growing, expanding year for me in the most part, but there were still elements of hangover from the previous year. Overall, the year was a solid eight-out-of-ten. It was the year I heard God call me out of secular-life-for-me into ministry-for-Him. It was also a year where I grew so much as a father into the new life my family was thrust into.
12/22/2017 02:44 PM
5 Things to Hate About Christmas (and Any Other Celebration)
THINK of anytime in the experience of life as a celebration, and there's another side. The experience of that time for those suffering grief.
12/17/2017 09:42 AM
How God Uses Grief to Teach Us Hope
In grief there is unprecedented and unparalleled poverty of spirit. Sadness like no other. A place of soul where all is foreign. Where all anchors fail and where trust is tested and torn. Sight of hope has vanished; felt realities of hope are vanquished.
12/12/2017 03:39 PM
Grieving Exchanges Honesty for Healing
DO it now or do it later, either way the work of grieving just must be done. That's what I've heard so many times.
12/11/2017 08:02 AM
10 Things Your Counsellor Wants to Say to You But Can't
ACTS of therapy require great courage - in both the giving and receiving of counsel. Going to counselling could be about as enjoyable as going to the dentist. The point is made, however, that when either are needed only great detriment occurs when we put it off.
12/08/2017 04:04 PM
An Inextinguishable Hope
DESPAIR is such an unenviable condition, having been there, none of us want to return. Yet, life experience attests to a fact; if we fell to the pit of an abyss once, it won't be the only time.
12/08/2017 09:17 AM
What Do I Do When Grief Sneaks Up to Confront and Shock Me?
EYE OPENERS in life come in pleasant and painful extremes. And grief is an eye opener of the most painful variety. A nemesis that seems to sneak up from nowhere at times, to take away our peace, our joy, our hope, our mind, to rob our heart of the security we so desperately rely on.
12/08/2017 09:16 AM
The Character of All-Abiding Sorrow in Grief
ONLY 24-hours ago my family learned we had lost a dear member - my Uncle. He was a man full of humour no matter how hard life was. There is so much about him that could be written. A small article like this cannot do justice to his memory.
12/05/2017 03:45 PM
Six Ways To Beat The Holiday Blues
Losing a loved one can make getting through the holidays difficult. Here are six ways to cope with stress and overcome the holiday blues.
12/02/2017 12:12 PM
Writhing Through the Pain of Hurt
THIS cannot be an article about hope - where hurts sting through tear-swollen eyes, a mind agonizing, a heart defeated - at least not a flippant hope. It's okay. It's not okay that your heart is hurting. But it is okay that you cannot hope right now. It is okay that you cannot face thought of present, let alone the future.
11/27/2017 08:17 AM
Where Is the Hope When All Is Pain?
Pain forces us toward or away from hope, and the latter only because we gave up hope of finding it. The former is pain's objective - to locate hope and reconcile who we are amid pain, and who we are to be post pain.
11/16/2017 04:05 PM
The Company of God's Presence in the Numb Night of Grief
SOMETHING is common in the experience of those who have been broken by a pain that rips their lives to shreds. God's Presence.
11/16/2017 08:14 AM
The Grief Integral to Full Faith Allegiance in Christ
FALSE truths and half-faiths there are plenty of in the Christian walk; both as far as dogmas and lived-out varieties are concerned. John Stott was right when he said that heresy is the over-emphasis on some truth without allowing other truths to qualify and balance it. (And this article will no doubt feature an imperfect mix of truth!)
11/09/2017 04:04 PM
Do You Ever Ask, Did It Really Happen?
BUZZ goes the phone, and as I check for the message it's a friend. He reminds me of the significance of a date (tomorrow) I already know - yet, suddenly, God has me go in on a journey. He shows me something surreal. It catches me by surprise.
11/09/2017 03:54 PM
He Who Made You Will Make a Way for You
IF you're battling today, to hold it together, or to take that next step, or maybe to simply halt that slide backwards, consider this. Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, you're dearly loved.
11/06/2017 07:56 AM
On the Other Side of Acceptance
REALITY is only a threat when we cannot live in harmony with the truth. Yet reality is a real issue for every single one of us. It's a phenomenon that must be mastered if we're to live the life every human being is purposed to live. Comparatively few ever do. Yet it's the opportunity God freely gives each one of us.
11/05/2017 08:59 AM
God Is for You and With You in Your Trial
UNDER spiritual attack, one of the first things we forget is that God is for us. Our Lord is present and powerful in all circumstances, especially when we're weak, and that's because we're more likely to pray and to lean not in our own understanding when we're being overpowered.
11/04/2017 10:54 AM
Endurance Is Easier When We Accept Life Is a Test
NOBODY really likes the sound of that title, I know. But deeper consideration of this truth evokes the super-conquering hope Paul talked about in Romans 8:37.
11/01/2017 04:33 PM
How the Stages of Grief Manifested in Me
The stages of grief theory was of course posited by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (and David Kessler). It involves denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. The strength of the model is it highlights real stages we go through as we experience loss. One of its weaknesses is it's not linear - the stages tend to reoccur chaotically. But it's overall flow is true. Here are my observations of the grief I've experienced over the past three years:
10/26/2017 04:13 PM
Man of Sorrows for the Man and Woman in Pain
JESUS hung out with all the wrong types, because no ladder-climbing was done there. He sought out the lonely, broken heart, unlike His detractors who loved ladder-climbing.
10/25/2017 08:19 PM
The Gloves Come Off - A Look at the Transformation of Death
Grieving is so very individual. If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one I highly recommend that you seek professional or spiritual council. With help you may find that you are able to embrace the transformation of energy and use it to create something new for yourself.
10/24/2017 04:06 PM
Every Response to Loss Is Appropriate
As all grief is real, all responses are appropriate, commensurate with the pain we experience. It only grieves the spirit in us more when we're told we're doing grief wrong.
10/23/2017 08:06 AM
Why Grief Isn't Depression and One Thing You Can Do About It
HAVE you ever visited a psychotherapist once, never gone back, and realised it was the best hour you could have ever spent? I've had one of those experiences. And the older gentleman taught me the difference between depression (which I thought I had, but didn't) and grief (which I had). Sure, I was depressed, but...
10/20/2017 09:04 AM
On My & America's Collective Suffering and Loss
The world is collectively choosing to undergo experiences of loss and hurt. The veneer of "everything is okay" with America is eroding on an inner level as well as on the outer level we all see. Collectively, we have all decided we want something better than the old system.
10/19/2017 10:14 PM
What If I Made the Decision to Stop Suffering?
When a circumstance means your whole heart and soul to you, and when that circumstance changes for whatever reason, and when we feel like dying as a result, this is the emotional suffering I am speaking about. Can you relate?
10/19/2017 10:10 PM
I Wasn't Just Grieving The Loss Of My Father
Shortly after I had got to the point where I could contain my emotions, the healer that I was working with said it would be a good idea for me to see if I could cry when I'm by myself. The reason for this was that I hadn't been able to cry during the sessions that we had had.
10/15/2017 08:58 PM
One Thing They Never Tell You About Loss
THERE are so many dynamics and nuances and variables in loss. But one thing remains the same. Grief is a phenomenon that changes us irrevocably. And there is but one choice - to go in the direction of one of two destinations: to move into the new life beckoning or to stifle its flow.
10/10/2017 03:58 PM
Son, You Would've Been Turning 3 Soon
EXTINGUISHED now is the deep pain of our loss, yet what has replaced it is the precious void we share together as we remember our son. Often, we talk about how old he would be, and we particularly miss him not being the loyal little brother to our now four-year-old.
10/10/2017 09:39 AM
On Puerto Rico and Hurricane Maria
The Puerto Rican people have a deep, spiritual root that no hurricane can take out. Electricity or not, they will shine again. Puerto Ricans don't just live on the island... they are the island.
10/09/2017 08:26 AM
If Only - Sad Words of Regret for the Grief Stricken
If only I had gone there, hadn't spoken those words, had taken a different route, listened to my own instincts... 'If Only' and all the words of regret that follow are scattered across a trail of shattered dreams, of broken hearts. We use them as we search for how we might have altered an incomprehensible outcome; a loss we simply cannot accept.
10/05/2017 04:40 PM
And Jesus Said, Always Pray and Never Give Up
Every day. No matter how empty your cup. Always pray. And never give up!
10/04/2017 12:53 PM
How My Counsellors Helped Me in My Deepest Grief
To my counsellors... I adore you, I salute you, I thank God for you. For without you I possibly wouldn't be here to write this. Without your gentle God-led intervention, I would be a different person, and I'm simply glad today that I am who I am, due in no small part to you. You were God in skin to me at a time in my life when God had to be real.
10/02/2017 03:03 PM
To a World That Won't Understand, and a God Who Will
What if we were to sense the loneliness in another individual, and simply attempt to meet them there. To just be there with them. Not try and fix anything. Just listen if they want to speak, and to hold the tensions of the irresolvable kind. To allow them the dignity of non-engagement. The sanctity of silence, which doesn't seem to us to be much of a ministry. Funny how when we move aside the Holy Spirit often moves in.
09/28/2017 10:14 AM
Traveling True Through Hell to the New You
REMINISCING over 14-year-old journal entries proves a thing true. A hell-of-months traversed through consistently, blesses, for such memories never fade.
09/22/2017 09:22 AM
How Loss Touches Us Deeply In God
Love how God continues to touch me through loss. So blessed just now to watch a dear woman's "life in images," and as I watched I saw eternity in those pictures of her life... a complete stranger (but none of us truly are strangers, are we?). I felt so blessed to read of a daughter's gratitude to the loving community of family and friends around her. And despite her grief she gave herself selflessly for others. Humanity at its rawest and best. And yet there are all the remaining days of her life that now must consist without her mother in them.
09/18/2017 08:06 AM
5 Experiences of Existential Pain We Must Get Used to
THE ABYSS. It's where God wants to take us. Not for our harm, but for our good. Not for no reason, but for a purpose. And we only realise this when we stumble on it by accident having been forced to go there by the cruel circumstances of life.
09/08/2017 04:38 PM
Light Shines Brightest at Night
THERE are foundational salvation truths we learn only in our darkest days. We never expect to be blessed at a time that seems so irretrievably cursed.
08/25/2017 03:49 PM
How Losses Are Gains in Disguise
TRANSFORMATION or tribulation. Every moment of our lives is a choice and a consequence for one or the other.
08/24/2017 04:31 PM
Transcending the Wounds of Grief
Our grief-avoidance society says, "Get over it quickly" or "let it go and move on;" yet, the pains and emotions cut deeper than a knife, oftentimes leaving us stuck and alone to suffer in silence. Someone that we loved has been taken away from us and we are expected to act as if it were only a small cut on our finger. It seems as though everyone around us has moved on with life.


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